Dear Parents and Carers,

I am sure like me you watched in shock and horror as the news of the tragic events in Christchurch last Friday unfolded. There are no words I can add that have not already been used by many to express the tragedy of the events. We cannot begin to comprehend how something like this could happen. I know that you join with me as a community to offer prayers for peace, compassion, tolerance and understanding.

Last Friday was Bullying No Way! Day. At St Benedict’s we aim to create a safe and supportive school community for everyone. You are an important part of our work to prevent bullying and to respond effectively if it happens. Stopping bullying involves everyone.

At St Benedict’s we have an Anti-bullying Policy. Please see the attached link Anti-bullying.pdf. But an Anti-bullying Policy is only one part of the whole school strategy to reduce and respond to bullying.

A Positive School Culture

It all starts with building a positive school culture and values. A positive school and strong values creates healthier relationships amongst the com

munity. Relationships where bullying doesn’t fit in.

We have strong values in our school:

      - Dignity              - Integrity

      - Respect             - Excellence

      - Compassion      - Optimism

      - Community       - Spirtuality

Our values underpin our 5 Ways of Being:

These were developed with students during 2013 and continually revisited in classes. We wanted to simply define what our values call us ‘to be’ at school as students, parents and staff.

Recognising the Positive

We like to recognise when students are displaying actions, attitudes and words that are examples of the 5 Ways of Being and remind them of the positive contribution they make to their own learning or the school community.  At the end of each term we recognise one person from each year level that has significantly demonstrated one of the Ways of Being with a 5 Ways of Being Award.

Responding to Bullying

At times we need to recognise that bullying is occurring in our school between students. It is important to understand what bullying is. It involves three critical components:

1. A repeated pattern
2. The misuse of power in a relationship
3. Behaviour which causes harm

This can be between individuals and/or groups. It can be obvious (physical, verbal) or hidden (exclusion, intimidation). It is not always obvious and can often be unacknowledged by adults. Not all conflict and aggression is bullying. Sometimes the conflict is between equals, and this is not bullying. Regardless of the context, all conflict is responded to.

Our Anti-bullying Policy outlines how we respond to any bullying that may occur.

Early intervention is the key for us. Where bullying is happening, we need to know and address it before more serious habits of behaviour form and we need to determine the best form of response for the situation.

Bullying is complex and challenging to deal with. Short term, quick fix solutions like punishment don’t assist to break the cycle of the bully-victim social relationship.

Our response will always require some analysis – identifying when and where it occurs and rectifying any power imbalance; relationship-focused – building positive relationships and learning successful social strategies for both bully and victim; and open communication – students, parents and staff are all engaged openly in working towards a positive and optimistic future.

At St Benedict’s we stand together against any form of bullying.

If you would like to be a little clearer about what bullying is and how you can help your child to respond to bullying then I encourage you to visit www.bullyingnoway.gov.au . There are some outstanding resources. In particular I encourage you to read What is bullying?

Below are some tips on what to do if your child talks to you about bullying. Parents know their children best and know the best way to tailor communication to their needs. Adapt these tips to what works for you and your child.

If your child talks to you about bullying:

1. Listen calmly and get the full story. Your calm response is important to allow your child to tell you all about the situation. After they’ve told you their story, ask questions to get more details if you need: who, what, where, when. Although you may feel some strong emotions about your child’s experience, try to keep calm to avoid more distress to your child.
2. Reassure your child they are not to blame. Many children blame themselves and this may make them feel even worse. You could say things like, ‘That sounds really hard to deal with. No one should have to put up with that.’ or ‘I’m so glad you told me. You should be able to feel safe at school; that’s not fair at all’.
3. Ask your child what they want to do and what they want you to do. A critical part of your response is to avoid jumping in to solve the problem. While it is natural to want to protect your child, helping them to find their own solution is a better option. It helps them feel they have some power in the situation.
4. Visit www.bullyingnoway.gov.au to find some strategies. The website has tips and ideas for different bullying situations. One idea is to practise strategies at home to help your child feel more confident.
5. Contact the school. Your child may be reluctant for you to do this, so discuss the idea and reassure them that the school would want to know and is able to help. Make an appointment to meet with your child’s teacher. Contact the school immediately if you have a concern about your child’s safety.
6. Check in regularly with your child. Keep the conversation going. It can take time to resolve issues, so check in regularly with your child about their experiences and their feelings. Your ongoing support is important.

God bless.

Rachel Smith

Principal